Pitfalls of dating a widower
The stepfather’s or stepmother’s role may be demanding and traumatic, when young children are involved.
We have observed that a husband and wife may agree on nearly everything except how to raise children, their own or someone else’s!
Some children may be negative toward any relationship you enter.
They may still be economically and emotionally dependent on you as a parent. A few people find it difficult to make adjustments in their life and always prefer the status quo.
We are convinced, however, that resolving the answers to the next questions could take several months. At first my children had only a slight acquaintance with Rita. After studying this question carefully and consulting counselors and trusted friends, we took a path that has been reasonably successful.
It has helped us establish a harmonious family relationship.
If this is true, the timing of your marriage may be of secondary importance. That is because she had four adult children and I had three.The most logical step is to discuss your children’s reactions with your pastor, a counselor, and trusted friends who will keep the children’s misgivings confidential.You need the opinions of persons who are somewhat detached from your situation.We recommend the following guidelines for your consideration: Much of any initial negative reaction is because the individuals really do not know each other.If possible, let all the children in both families get acquainted before any marriage plans are announced.
Be sensitive to their grief over the loss of the deceased parent. Avoid recommendations about child-rearing to your intended at this stage.