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One way that reveals itself is through the quality of his listening.When I was trapped in the brain-ball matrix, I would only listen to a girlfriend with the singular intent of evaluating to respond.He listens with his whole body for the deeper message beneath the words.He listens at the level of heart, where the real truth often resides.How does a man connected to heart show up everyday, not just when his team is down 5 points with a minute remaining? I was always impatient for the rest of the world to change so I could finally feel good, and I acted out in countless ways to make it change.By its end, my ego had been gutted so profoundly, as I finally had to accept just how little I am in control of anything or anyone and just how messy life is no matter what I do to keep it clean.A man genuinely connected to his heart, who lives each day with his brain and balls in proper service to his heart’s deeper wisdom, is a man that breathes life into the world. In the military, I was so disconnected from my heart that I hated life. Little did I know, I was also heading into the darkest night my soul has ever experienced.He can inspire and lift up the world, even if it’s only one person’s world. That dark night waxed and waned for 12 years and involved angry women and drugs and heartbreak and financial ruin.
It’s hard to fully let go and surrender to laughter when I believe I’m still not yet good enough … It can find the innocence in most any situation, and it can laugh effortlessly at the crazy divine comedy that is life. But he can always see the innocence that leads to ignorant, even awful behavior.
When a man connected to heart listens, he listens with his entire body (which includes his brain and his balls).
He doesn’t just listen for a way into the outcome he wants.
And they’re absolutely valid and essential in their own way.
These are the masculine convictions of our brains and our balls.
That one insight gave me access to an embodied patience with people, myself, with life, that I had never known, that no one ever taught me. Granted, my patience remains a work in progress for my brain and my balls still constantly seek to assert their authority.