Dating a momas boy
Q: What if mama is the one who's not yet ready to cut the cord?
Granted, he's not grabbing any scissors, but what if she's the driving force? Mandel: When this is the case, it's better for you to gently coax him to start setting some boundaries with mom.
She'd probably end up creating a wedge in your relationship and then he'd likely feel forced to choose between the two of you.
And because you're the new girl in town...well, I don't think I have to tell you whom he'd choose!
So, it becomes a mutually parasitic relationship; both mom and son are afraid to be independent of each other.
In essence, your guy has become his mom's pseudo-husband, and consciously or unconsciously, he likes the importance of this role.
In general, the younger your guy, the more slack you can cut him when it comes to cutting the cord.
" Regardless of how many boundary-setting suggestions you offer, he has to be willing to give her the message.
Of course, this makes it hard for him to commit to another woman -- namely, you.
Q: What's the difference between a man having a "healthy" attachment to his mother and an "unhealthy" one? Mandel: While you might find it odd that he's calling or even visiting his mother daily, the frequency of contact a guy has with his mom doesn't determine how healthy or unhealthy his attachment is to her. If both mom and son have mutual respect for one another and have set good boundaries with each other (if he's able to say "Thanks but no thanks for the new underwear you bought me, Ma.
Q: What would you recommend a woman do if it seems her guy is the one with the issues -- meaning, Mama actually seems quite normal? Mandel: If this is the case, odds are that during his childhood she created that unhealthy dependency between them, but when he reached adulthood, she was ready to let go, yet he wasn't quite ready to leave the nest emotionally (and possibly even physically).
Ultimately, he still expects mom to rescue him and take care of his every need, even though she's not interested in doing so.
Otherwise, mom will likely go back to him and read him the riot act for allowing you to tell her how to perform her motherly duties, which only give her reason to paint you out as the bad gal. At what time do you think a woman dating a mama's boy should give up the chance of this ever happening? Mandel: A mama's boy can most definitely be rehabilitated, but only if he's willing to acknowledge that his relationship with his mom is unhealthy and needs to be restructured.